A month home...

So what have we learned in a month?

MeiLi continues to make changes. She's gaining words in her English vocabulary. She she continues to communicate so much in Mandarin - which we are trying to keep alive - it's so fun when she comes out with a phrase or full sentence in English.

She's ridden DJ (which she loved), tried tubing (kinda scary) and swimming off the boat (had a blast - though the other girls not so much as Allie is taking a microbiology class - and so we now know what's growing in the lake.) She's trying more western foods - and liking some of them.

We had our first post placement visit Thursday with a Holt social worker. We're doing really well - Barb was surprised at how quickly MeiLi has beome integrated into our family. She's playful and affectionate with us all. Communication with the girls is the best - but she's comfortable with an extended event with any one of us. Yesterday she woke up and I was the only one up, so she and Nick (the dog) and I went on a date to mcD's. We had fun, and we can communicate.

On Friday C and the girls took MeiLi to the internation adoption clinic at Children's Mercy here in KC. Results were great. Up to some open lab work, a clean bill - no issues. We're very thankful - this is the best outcome we could have asked for.

So what have we learned about adoption? This may seem like an obvious point, but adopting a 5-year-old is not the same as having a baby. Wow, no kidding. What I mean is, though we have a connection, it is not the same one that arrived when you gave your heart at birth. She doesn't have the same experience as living here that a born-in 5 year old has had. Se doesn't necessarily know what a family is, what a dad is, that at times we have a disconnect, or that subconsciously she misses things about China.

The upshot is that there is some long-term work to this. I know what a dad is. I understand the daddy / daughter relationship. The work is in revealing it to MeiLi. C & I, as well as A, J and E, know what a family is, and we're giving her one, each in our own role. Love is a choice, we're choosing it.

99.97% of the time, MeiLi makes this really easy. She's a happy camper who is having fun with all of us. But then there's that .03 - where she can be clueless. She doesn't know how far we went, what it cost, what we risked (in that we were a happy, intact family) and what we are sacrificing. We're choosing patience and kindness - she just hangs out and lets it happen.

Really, she causes me to sense my own cluelessness (is that a word?). I don't think I really understand how far Jesus came from heaven to earth, what it cost Him while he was here, what He risked, and what He and His family sacrificed to adopt me in. I am thankful He was patient and kind to me. Funny the way you discover things.
D

Saturday evening on Longview...

Allie skiing as the sun comes down...