This dynamic takes me by surprise every day. Imagine all the firsts your children experience the first few years of life. Imagine many, many, many of those firsts being put off until they're 5. But now they have so much more maturity, self-discipline, communication skills and coordination! It's SO COOL!!!!
Today one of her "firsts" was climbing the ladder to the pool slide by herself. When she first came home, she didn't have the physical strength to climb it! Tai haola MeiLi!
She now swims the front crawl, back crawl, and butterfly! Tai haola MeiLi!
Yesterday, she asked to go into the church preschool by herself! Tai haola MeiLi!
She rode DJ for the first time this week, pushing our hands away, and wanting to go faster! (DJ is so patient, as always!) And today, she rode double on DJ, and quadruple on Dakota with Cole, McKenna and Jimmy!
She got bit by Kitty today, which was inevitable, but she very bravely learned those boundaries!
She traced all the letters of the alphabet yesterday, unprompted, and practically perfectly! Tai haola MeiLi!
She toured Allie and Jenna's college campus last week, and met their laoshi, Valda Hsu.
She demonstrated Tai chi today to her new little friends, Cole, McKenna and Jimmy. Tai haola MeiLi!
I gave her her first butterfly kiss at bedtime tonight. The burst of delighted giggling melted me.
She packed her own lunch in her new Dora lunchbag for her first day of co-op tomorrow! Tai haola MeiLi!
What a blessing you are, darling little girl! Tai haola MeiLi . . . very good!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
A month home...
So what have we learned in a month?
MeiLi continues to make changes. She's gaining words in her English vocabulary. She she continues to communicate so much in Mandarin - which we are trying to keep alive - it's so fun when she comes out with a phrase or full sentence in English.
She's ridden DJ (which she loved), tried tubing (kinda scary) and swimming off the boat (had a blast - though the other girls not so much as Allie is taking a microbiology class - and so we now know what's growing in the lake.) She's trying more western foods - and liking some of them.
We had our first post placement visit Thursday with a Holt social worker. We're doing really well - Barb was surprised at how quickly MeiLi has beome integrated into our family. She's playful and affectionate with us all. Communication with the girls is the best - but she's comfortable with an extended event with any one of us. Yesterday she woke up and I was the only one up, so she and Nick (the dog) and I went on a date to mcD's. We had fun, and we can communicate.
On Friday C and the girls took MeiLi to the internation adoption clinic at Children's Mercy here in KC. Results were great. Up to some open lab work, a clean bill - no issues. We're very thankful - this is the best outcome we could have asked for.
So what have we learned about adoption? This may seem like an obvious point, but adopting a 5-year-old is not the same as having a baby. Wow, no kidding. What I mean is, though we have a connection, it is not the same one that arrived when you gave your heart at birth. She doesn't have the same experience as living here that a born-in 5 year old has had. Se doesn't necessarily know what a family is, what a dad is, that at times we have a disconnect, or that subconsciously she misses things about China.
The upshot is that there is some long-term work to this. I know what a dad is. I understand the daddy / daughter relationship. The work is in revealing it to MeiLi. C & I, as well as A, J and E, know what a family is, and we're giving her one, each in our own role. Love is a choice, we're choosing it.
99.97% of the time, MeiLi makes this really easy. She's a happy camper who is having fun with all of us. But then there's that .03 - where she can be clueless. She doesn't know how far we went, what it cost, what we risked (in that we were a happy, intact family) and what we are sacrificing. We're choosing patience and kindness - she just hangs out and lets it happen.
Really, she causes me to sense my own cluelessness (is that a word?). I don't think I really understand how far Jesus came from heaven to earth, what it cost Him while he was here, what He risked, and what He and His family sacrificed to adopt me in. I am thankful He was patient and kind to me. Funny the way you discover things.
D
Saturday evening on Longview...
Allie skiing as the sun comes down...
MeiLi continues to make changes. She's gaining words in her English vocabulary. She she continues to communicate so much in Mandarin - which we are trying to keep alive - it's so fun when she comes out with a phrase or full sentence in English.
She's ridden DJ (which she loved), tried tubing (kinda scary) and swimming off the boat (had a blast - though the other girls not so much as Allie is taking a microbiology class - and so we now know what's growing in the lake.) She's trying more western foods - and liking some of them.
We had our first post placement visit Thursday with a Holt social worker. We're doing really well - Barb was surprised at how quickly MeiLi has beome integrated into our family. She's playful and affectionate with us all. Communication with the girls is the best - but she's comfortable with an extended event with any one of us. Yesterday she woke up and I was the only one up, so she and Nick (the dog) and I went on a date to mcD's. We had fun, and we can communicate.
On Friday C and the girls took MeiLi to the internation adoption clinic at Children's Mercy here in KC. Results were great. Up to some open lab work, a clean bill - no issues. We're very thankful - this is the best outcome we could have asked for.
So what have we learned about adoption? This may seem like an obvious point, but adopting a 5-year-old is not the same as having a baby. Wow, no kidding. What I mean is, though we have a connection, it is not the same one that arrived when you gave your heart at birth. She doesn't have the same experience as living here that a born-in 5 year old has had. Se doesn't necessarily know what a family is, what a dad is, that at times we have a disconnect, or that subconsciously she misses things about China.
The upshot is that there is some long-term work to this. I know what a dad is. I understand the daddy / daughter relationship. The work is in revealing it to MeiLi. C & I, as well as A, J and E, know what a family is, and we're giving her one, each in our own role. Love is a choice, we're choosing it.
99.97% of the time, MeiLi makes this really easy. She's a happy camper who is having fun with all of us. But then there's that .03 - where she can be clueless. She doesn't know how far we went, what it cost, what we risked (in that we were a happy, intact family) and what we are sacrificing. We're choosing patience and kindness - she just hangs out and lets it happen.
Really, she causes me to sense my own cluelessness (is that a word?). I don't think I really understand how far Jesus came from heaven to earth, what it cost Him while he was here, what He risked, and what He and His family sacrificed to adopt me in. I am thankful He was patient and kind to me. Funny the way you discover things.
D
Saturday evening on Longview...
Allie skiing as the sun comes down...
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Shots from the Summer Palace
On the day we went to the Summer Palace, we had the lighting set incorrectly on the camera. So the photos did not look good. Of course, you can correct this with software - it just takes some time and effort. So - here are some shots from that day, not published before.
On this day more than any other, if we stopped to take a photo of the girls, people stopped us and asked for a pic. People were kind and it was fun.
On this day more than any other, if we stopped to take a photo of the girls, people stopped us and asked for a pic. People were kind and it was fun.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Mommy's makeup and other things
This is Allie! Just wanted to keep updated. MeiLi is doing really well. She is learning more English every day - things such as specific animals, colors, foods, drinks, numbers, the alphabet, "more", "potty", "want", "please", "thank you", "you're welcome", "night night", "share", "wait", "bless you", "ready?" "go!" and a few other things. It's absolutely adorable to hear her little Chinese accent speaking English words.
She absolutely loves her bike! Thank you, Geri! Last week we found this adorable play pony for it, and she rides "her horse" almost every day.
Sunday she wore the dress that Andrea made her to church! It was beautiful! She felt so pretty and wore it all day.
Then she posed (not prompted) like this for a picture.
She still cries almost every night, so I asked her if she was afraid at night sometimes, and MeiLi nodded that yes, she was. I asked her if she knew that she was safe with us, and MeiLi said that yes, she knew - so we asked her if she would like us to remind her that she is safe whenever she is sad or afraid, and she nodded that yes, she would like us to tell her that.
We went to church as a family of six for the first time on Sunday. She did really well - she sat quietly with us for the whole service, and really enjoyed the worship music (she loves singing).
She absolutely loves her bike! Thank you, Geri! Last week we found this adorable play pony for it, and she rides "her horse" almost every day.
Yesterday we had another first! We found mommy's makeup! And, of course, had to get a makeover!
Then she got a look in the mirror - oh my! Haha - so cute!
Then another first today! She got to hold the bird on her head. She thought it was the funniest thing!
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Some first times
MeiLi is discovering so many things for the first time. We were out in the pool a few evenings ago and think she saw the stars for the first time - between the air quality, humidity and lights of China, this could be - she just looked up in wonder for a long time.
It's those moments, the spontaneous and profound ones, that are difficult to catch with a photo.
A planned event is easier - but one still has no idea what will go on. Our conversation: How do you think she'll react to the boat? Don't know, Jenna cried for the entire ride when she was five.
Seems exited to be going out:
Nick thought it was a hot day:
Some concern on the way out:
Lots of reaction to a turn
Snacking with Allie is good:
Jenna's getting ready to ski - this is more intense:
Better to ride with Emmi - relieved that Jenna is getting out.
Some concern on the way out:
Lots of reaction to a turn
Snacking with Allie is good:
Jenna's getting ready to ski - this is more intense:
Better to ride with Emmi - relieved that Jenna is getting out. 
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Little Parrot Girl
Had to lay down this quick milestone - MeiLi is repeating things in English!!! She learned "one" through "six" while we were still on the trip, but when she got home and discovered her new little LeapFrog alphabet thingy that sang the alphabet song (over and over and over and over), she started singing along!!! (Thanks, Halls!)
Then this morning, she and I were sitting at breakfast, chatting, using my very limited Chinese, hand gestures and facial expressions, when all of a sudden, she started repeating (almost perfectly!) everything I said. She started with "Good girl", plain as day! Then "Oh my gosh!", then "Amazing", then I sat there like a dummy trying to think of the most productive things to have her repeat.
Think about it - if you had someone start repeating everything you said, what would you say?
I'm charmed. I'm loving this.
Oh, and I finally thought to say, "I love you!"
Then this morning, she and I were sitting at breakfast, chatting, using my very limited Chinese, hand gestures and facial expressions, when all of a sudden, she started repeating (almost perfectly!) everything I said. She started with "Good girl", plain as day! Then "Oh my gosh!", then "Amazing", then I sat there like a dummy trying to think of the most productive things to have her repeat.
Think about it - if you had someone start repeating everything you said, what would you say?
I'm charmed. I'm loving this.
Oh, and I finally thought to say, "I love you!"
Monday, August 1, 2011
Giving thanks
Still a bit jet lagged - up early - about to go to work - probably shouldn't do this, because I am tired and will probably forget someone. Forgive me if I miss you.
Why go? A long story - but it comes down to James 1:27 (NKJ) says this: Pure and undefined religion before God and the Father is this, to visit orphans and widows in their time of trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world. Carolyn and I are both honored and humbled that we had the opportunity to go - and that we have been blessed and supported by so many people.
While there are many, here is one example of the beautiful, personal and wonderful care we have received. When Carolyn's Mom died, she had some fabric / sewing materials. Carolyn gave them to Andrea EuDaly as a donation to future HADC dance productions. When we arrived at the airport, Andrea had made a blanket for MeiLi out of the some of the material from her mom - a flower for each of our daughters - the characters mean MeiLi:
We are so thankful for, think often of and pray for all you of who have supported us through so many expressions during our adoption process: We know of so many who have prayed - C's small group, my small group, my friends in CR, our friends from Metro. Thanks to Rock Brook church for your prayers, guidance and support. Thanks to Kathi for having a shower and for all those who attended and gave gifts. Thanks to Nate for taking us to the airport and to the Kramers for seeing us off. Thanks to Nate / Andrea for picking us up. Thanks to the Staggs, Gilkesons and Newells for praying together and learning together - and for sharing their wisdom and experiences with us. Thanks to the McNays for helping us with their experience in prior travel - helping us with decisions. Thanks to the families we met in China and for your shared wisdom and experience during the adoption process. Thanks to Nate, Misty, Donna, Steve, Micah, Patty, Geri, Les, Kellen, and Alex for taking care of our house and /or animals while were gone. Thanks for the gifts and banners in our house on our return - and that our house was cleaned.
Thanks to my friends /co-workers at GEHA for their help and support and the gifts. Thanks to GEHA management for the time off and support in my job.
Thanks to our extended family on both sides for their support and encouragement - and to Bobby and Carolyn's Mom and generations of their family for their careful stewardship.
Thanks to our daughters Allie, Jenna and Emmi for their preparation in language, with our home and in our family decisions. Thanks to all the Holt staff for paving the way /getting us through all the paperwork / making the process go smoothly. And to Lotus and other travel staff for the experiences along the way.
Thanks to our extended community of friends that we've formed through the years and have been able to reconnect with on FB or via email or the blog - for all your prayers and kind words of encouragement and support.
And another verse from James 1: Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of Lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning. You have all been a good and perfect gift to us - Christ in the flesh to us. Thanks be to our God and Father and the Lord Jesus Christ - who as blessed us with every spiritual blessing in Christ. Blessed be your Name. Amen.
Why go? A long story - but it comes down to James 1:27 (NKJ) says this: Pure and undefined religion before God and the Father is this, to visit orphans and widows in their time of trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world. Carolyn and I are both honored and humbled that we had the opportunity to go - and that we have been blessed and supported by so many people.
While there are many, here is one example of the beautiful, personal and wonderful care we have received. When Carolyn's Mom died, she had some fabric / sewing materials. Carolyn gave them to Andrea EuDaly as a donation to future HADC dance productions. When we arrived at the airport, Andrea had made a blanket for MeiLi out of the some of the material from her mom - a flower for each of our daughters - the characters mean MeiLi:
We are so thankful for, think often of and pray for all you of who have supported us through so many expressions during our adoption process: We know of so many who have prayed - C's small group, my small group, my friends in CR, our friends from Metro. Thanks to Rock Brook church for your prayers, guidance and support. Thanks to Kathi for having a shower and for all those who attended and gave gifts. Thanks to Nate for taking us to the airport and to the Kramers for seeing us off. Thanks to Nate / Andrea for picking us up. Thanks to the Staggs, Gilkesons and Newells for praying together and learning together - and for sharing their wisdom and experiences with us. Thanks to the McNays for helping us with their experience in prior travel - helping us with decisions. Thanks to the families we met in China and for your shared wisdom and experience during the adoption process. Thanks to Nate, Misty, Donna, Steve, Micah, Patty, Geri, Les, Kellen, and Alex for taking care of our house and /or animals while were gone. Thanks for the gifts and banners in our house on our return - and that our house was cleaned.
Thanks to my friends /co-workers at GEHA for their help and support and the gifts. Thanks to GEHA management for the time off and support in my job.
Thanks to our extended family on both sides for their support and encouragement - and to Bobby and Carolyn's Mom and generations of their family for their careful stewardship.
Thanks to our daughters Allie, Jenna and Emmi for their preparation in language, with our home and in our family decisions. Thanks to all the Holt staff for paving the way /getting us through all the paperwork / making the process go smoothly. And to Lotus and other travel staff for the experiences along the way.
Thanks to our extended community of friends that we've formed through the years and have been able to reconnect with on FB or via email or the blog - for all your prayers and kind words of encouragement and support.
And another verse from James 1: Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of Lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning. You have all been a good and perfect gift to us - Christ in the flesh to us. Thanks be to our God and Father and the Lord Jesus Christ - who as blessed us with every spiritual blessing in Christ. Blessed be your Name. Amen.
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