What's in a Name?

Dear MeiMei -

We received our "Acceptance Packet" last week, containing several more forms to fill out, getting us ready to come to China to get you.  It was a surprise that 2 of the forms had a blank for your American name. It seems that most adoptive parents give their international child a new name when they bring him/her home. We were hesitant, because you are losing so much - losing your name, as well, seems so sad.  I had the opportunity to ask an adult adoptee from China if she was renamed and how she felt about it. She said she liked having a new name because Americans probably couldn't pronounce her Chinese name, let alone spell it! We wanted a name that is understood in both languages - we chose to give you the name that means "beautiful" in Chinese. Plus, we wanted you to keep your given name as a middle name. So on our forms, your American name is:

MeiLi ShiQiao Aldridge

愛  美丽  时俏

. . . pronounced "MayLee".


P.S. Friends: Her given name is Shi Qiao. Just for grins, let us know how you think you pronounce Shi Qiao - write it out phonetically so we can all laugh at you. (jk)


P.S.S. Our nickname for you right now is still MeiMei, because it's the first syllable of MeiLi, and it means "Little Sister". We've been calling you MeiMei since we began our process. Even our friends call you MeiMei! You're beautiful, and we love you.

Kids. are. so. important. Wow.

"“Internationally adopted children feel more strongly and dramatically than other children the pressure to be good and do what is right because deep down they still fear that they did something wrong that resulted in their relinquishment.” (Raising Your Internationally Adopted Child by Patty Cogen).

Adopted children often feel it was their fault they were "given up" - that they weren't good enough to be wanted. I've heard this said about children of divorce too. Kids, poor things . . . because the adult world is a mystery of grand authority and power, they assume that adults always do the right thing. Therefore, who else would be at fault but little, powerless, mistake-prone me. (I speak from my own experience of being adopted.)

Ohhhhhhh, if we could constantly wrap our minds around the immense responsibility we carry for raising our children in truth and love. Reminding them always that they are immeasurably valuable, accepted, treasured, and forgiven. Because this is how our heavenly Father and the very Master of our design views us - and that acceptance and love need to be passed on out of gratitude. These little critters are right now in the process of replacing us here on earth. WHAT could be more important? What greater purpose could there be?

Thank God He made them cute, right? Ha. But while we do the best we can with our "own" children, the rest of the children of the world need His Love as well. Pray for them, my friends. And if a little critter crosses your path in the coming days, send a pulse of love his way - he probably needs it. Smile with a little extra genuineness, spend a few extra moments listening to a little person - heck, I don't know . . . just make goofy faces at the little kid in front of you at church! (That's what I did yesterday - nothing like a 9-month old baby girl grinning back at you!)

Happy Valentine's Day!

Mei Mei's pediatrician

Today, Emmi was a mostly-willing guinea pig to try out our new pediatrician. The doc seems really great, and is happy for us that we're adopting, and is excited to meet Mei Mei when we get her home. Of course China expects us to have a pediatrician ready for her. Poor little tyke, she'll probably be meeting the doc very soon after arriving.

Unfortunately for Emmi, she got poked, prodded & queried up one side and down the other - so to speak, and topped off the visit with 2 vaccinations! Not a happy guinea pig.

Vaccinations aren't required to travel to China, but according to the CDC, Hep A & B are prevalent in Asia. Respiratory infections seem to be quite common as well, so we'd rather be a little cautious. Maybe up to 2 more shots for Em. Oh, and don't mention this to Allie, Jenna or Doug - they don't know about the vaccinations yet! (jk, of course they'll see it here!)

Some thoughts on domestic vs. international adoption

Yesterday, Allie was telling someone about our adoption - and the person asked her why we chose to adopt internationally rather than domestically. These are our thoughts.

According to one source I found, there are more than 143 million orphans in the world; and every two seconds another child becomes an orphan. Every child deserves a family. Another way of saying that is, no child is more "worthy" to be adopted than any other. Which child out of 143,000,000 is the one for our family? Reeeeeally tough question! There is no one 'best' way to adopt, just a best way for each family.

One important factor that tipped us toward international adoption is our desire to adopt an older child. The reasons for children being orphans at an older age are various, and tend to be different according to different cultures. China's older children seem to be a good fit for us.

We're so excited about having a permanent connection to China in our family. Please join us in loving and praying for the people of China!

From Mei Mei's sisters with lots of love

Dear Mei Mei,

Your family has made this blog of our journey to find you to show you how much we love you. When we heard that the American adoption agency had a little girl matched to our family we were overcome with joy and anxiety! When they sent us a picture of you, you were the cutest little girl we had ever seen. They sent us your medical information, and we are so thankful that you have been very well cared for and that your surgeries were successful. They also told us things about you, like how you love to sing and dance and play; that you're outgoing, and love other children. We love how precious you are, and know that you are perfect for your new family. We have been praying for you and will always continue to pray for you. We showed your picture to some of our close friends, and they are so excited to meet you and are praying for you! We think and talk about you every day! We love you so much already, and cannot wait to meet you and be your sisters and friends for the rest of our lives.

With all our love,
Allie, Jenna, and Emmi

Very thankful am I

Hey all. This is certainly a new adventure.

We had some difficulties in Dec with the mail service (competing with Christmas mail in Chicago). Finally we were able to get everything through to the Chinese consulate in Chicago and got our dossier back on Dec 30. We made copies and shipped it to our agency. They started the matching process on Jan 3 - est 2 months. We received our first candidate on Jan 6 - 2 months were compressed down to 3 days.

Since then we have been having medical records evaluated and exchanging questions between us, Holt and Chinese officials. All is coming back very positive - so we are committed to going foward. Current estimate is 6 months - but these estimates can vary.

I must say that getting photos and records has snapped things into perspective hugely for me - the reality / gravity / magnitude of what we are doing has come home in both an exciting and sober way - so your prayers are deeply needed and appreciated.

I love my family and the opportunity that we have to love and give together.
D

WE'RE MATCHED!

Like I said before, this path we're on is paved with exclamation marks!! It's official - we have been matched with our new daughter - her initials are C.S.Q. She will be 5 years old when we go get her - she's adorable!

Our dossier is in China now, along with our little girl's information, and sometime in the next 2 - 4 months, China will notify our agency of their agreement!

We know a lot about her already - she loves to sing and DANCE, has a ready smile and is considered "outgoing". She had a few medical issues at birth that have already been repaired, thanks to a generous child welfare program in China!

She's living in an orphanage in Jilin province (borders on North Korea!!), and that's where we'll be going to get her after a few days in Beijing.

Still so much to do! Looking into recommended vaccinations, packing lists, touring opportunities, language classes, journaling, reading lots of books about geography, history, culture and so on and so on!

We are planning to post a picture of our little sweetie on Facebook, but have to be very careful of her privacy and that of the orphanage and the overall process.

We still refer to her as Mei Mei, which means "Little Sister", and we've learned to pronounce her real name, but it's a difficult name to pronounce, let alone spell! Again, for the sake of privacy, we're not posting her real name.

Thanks for being with us on this amazing journey - for praying and hoping.

Actively looking !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our completed dossier arrived at the Holt home office in Oregon Monday. After emailing a few final updates to them, I received an email back from them, stating:  "We are actively looking for a girl for you and hope to call you with a good referral soon."

When they find a girl that they think will be a good match for us, they'll send us a picture and any and all information they have on her. We have 2-3 days to make a decision to accept the match.

Then the Chinese government begins the process of reviewing our dossier & the child to make their decision. That can take up to 4 months. In this amount of time, the child is not told that she is being considered for adoption.

When the Chinese government has approved it, however, the child is told, and we can begin corresponding with her! Some creative ideas for corresponding with her are to make videos of each member of our family introducing themselves, writing letters (obviously), etc. If the orphanage or foster home she's in will facilitate it, she can send correspondence to us also. We may also receive extra info on her, maybe updated physical and academic status, maybe more pictures - depends.

Then the U.S. government spends another 2 months or so on approving her for immigration.

Off it Goes!!!

I realize now that almost all my posts have lots of exclamation points. It's because everything that happens in the adoption process seems like a big deal!!

Anyway, we were hanging out in the living room this afternoon & the UPS truck drove by - we all ran to the front door and sure enough, the dossier was back from the Chinese Consulate!! At this point, it feels like handling something very very fragile, and irreplaceable - which I guess it is - so we carefully opened it up, made copies of the cool Chinese stamps that authenticate each document, and packed it back up to ship to the home office of Holt International in Eugene, Oregon.

The home office takes up to 3 weeks for final processing (crossing all the "t"s and such), then ships it to Beijing! It's really cool to have the dossier out of our hands and en route to China!

Much of this doesn't feel real yet, but this is a medium-sized step towards reality, and that feels great!

The check went through Chicago's post office!!!

I spent probably 1 1/2 hours on the phone yesterday trying to track down my check that I sent to the Chinese Consulate. I mailed it December 16, and it's been 12 days when it should have taken 2. It seems it dissappeared into a postal black hole. I asked one guy what I could do, and he said, "just wait and see".

Wait-and-see is the name of this adoption game, but not for something simple like mailing a check!! It's another test of kindness and patience, however, as it would have been easy to get angry and snap at people who were trying to help. But God, through my girls, zoomed me out to see the big picture again. It brought me peace.

I checked again just now to see if the check has appeared anywhere in the system, and guess what . . . of course, it's being delivered today!! It's too weird. It's too funny. I'm thankful. And at peace.