Tuesday, July 28, 2015
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Back in the USA!!!
Sorry for the slow update. We've heard that the Chinese gov't is blocking VPNs. It was getting increasingly difficult to connect while in China.
Wednesday shopping and pool.
Wednesday we went out to do some shopping at a walking-street area north of Shamian Island. Ying, MeiLi and I found limited interest in shopping so we came back to hang out by the pool. Another breakthrough: Ying with me and MeiLi.
Carolyn, Jenna and Emmi had great fun shopping. Emmi and Jenna have become quite adept at dickering for price. Emmi got a t-shirt down from 90 yuan to 35 (about $15 to under $6).
In the later afternoon Holt delivered our US Visa - last goal for China down. We scheduled our flight home on Friday in case there was a delay in getting this.
Thursday - happy birthday to me.
Four years ago I celebrated a birthday in China as well. Thank you for all the kind birthday wishes on FB. We were in China, so the question Carolyn and the girls put to me was how would I like to celebrate? What to do, what to do... I suggested we would go to the top of the Canton Tower.
Off we went on the subway, we found our way to the tower and went up to the indoor and outdoor observation decks - the highest point we were at was 1476 ft - which is outside. It was a little freaky as a storm was rolling in while we were up there - we were right at the base of the clouds and could hear the thunder close by.
Friday and Saturday - travel days.
Friday we got up at 5am (4pm Thursday in KC) and headed for the airport. Our flight was delayed 2 hours in Guangzhou, and we only had a planned 2.5 hour layover in Beijing. Since we were transferring from domestic to an international flight, we had 30 minutes to:
* Park on the tarmac
* Get bussed to the terminal
* Get the luggage
* Change terminals - about a 10 minute walk
* Go through a departing customs inspection
* Check in, check bags, get boarding passes
* Go through a departing immigration check
* Go through security
* Exit at the gate
* Additional security check
* Get bussed back to the plane
Emmi starts quoting the Lion King 1.5: "Shall we run for our lives? Oh yes, let's!" We ran.
With all that running we made the plane. They held the flight for us. Well, not just us. The plane was the same Hainan 787 Dreamliner on which we arrived from Guangzhou. We had run a big triangle. It doesn't matter, we made the flight to Chicago.
We landed in Chicago one hour earlier than we departed Beijing (tail wind - 12 hour flight less 13 time zones). It didn't seem quite as brutal coming back. We had decided to rent a van in Chicago and drive back to KC. Spent the night in Iowa, now home. Nate graciously picked us up at Avis in Independence. We arrived home 48 hours out of the hotel room in Guangzhou.
Sunday - recovery
It is really nice to be back. Going slow. Jet lag has been hitting us all hard. How do people work nights?
Ying herself seems to be doing pretty well. Next step is the language barrier. The knowledge of Mandarin that Allie, Jenna and Emmi have helps a lot. We bought a copy of Rio in Kunming that is voiced in Mandarin, and watched that last night. It helped to understand what she experiences all the time. She's also very calm and low key.
It turns out she can ride a bike and enjoys the pool. She and MeiLi are playing together a lot.
Canton tower
Back home...
Wednesday shopping and pool.
Wednesday we went out to do some shopping at a walking-street area north of Shamian Island. Ying, MeiLi and I found limited interest in shopping so we came back to hang out by the pool. Another breakthrough: Ying with me and MeiLi.
Carolyn, Jenna and Emmi had great fun shopping. Emmi and Jenna have become quite adept at dickering for price. Emmi got a t-shirt down from 90 yuan to 35 (about $15 to under $6).
In the later afternoon Holt delivered our US Visa - last goal for China down. We scheduled our flight home on Friday in case there was a delay in getting this.
Thursday - happy birthday to me.
Four years ago I celebrated a birthday in China as well. Thank you for all the kind birthday wishes on FB. We were in China, so the question Carolyn and the girls put to me was how would I like to celebrate? What to do, what to do... I suggested we would go to the top of the Canton Tower.
Off we went on the subway, we found our way to the tower and went up to the indoor and outdoor observation decks - the highest point we were at was 1476 ft - which is outside. It was a little freaky as a storm was rolling in while we were up there - we were right at the base of the clouds and could hear the thunder close by.
Friday and Saturday - travel days.
Friday we got up at 5am (4pm Thursday in KC) and headed for the airport. Our flight was delayed 2 hours in Guangzhou, and we only had a planned 2.5 hour layover in Beijing. Since we were transferring from domestic to an international flight, we had 30 minutes to:
* Park on the tarmac
* Get bussed to the terminal
* Get the luggage
* Change terminals - about a 10 minute walk
* Go through a departing customs inspection
* Check in, check bags, get boarding passes
* Go through a departing immigration check
* Go through security
* Exit at the gate
* Additional security check
* Get bussed back to the plane
Emmi starts quoting the Lion King 1.5: "Shall we run for our lives? Oh yes, let's!" We ran.
With all that running we made the plane. They held the flight for us. Well, not just us. The plane was the same Hainan 787 Dreamliner on which we arrived from Guangzhou. We had run a big triangle. It doesn't matter, we made the flight to Chicago.
We landed in Chicago one hour earlier than we departed Beijing (tail wind - 12 hour flight less 13 time zones). It didn't seem quite as brutal coming back. We had decided to rent a van in Chicago and drive back to KC. Spent the night in Iowa, now home. Nate graciously picked us up at Avis in Independence. We arrived home 48 hours out of the hotel room in Guangzhou.
Sunday - recovery
It is really nice to be back. Going slow. Jet lag has been hitting us all hard. How do people work nights?
Ying herself seems to be doing pretty well. Next step is the language barrier. The knowledge of Mandarin that Allie, Jenna and Emmi have helps a lot. We bought a copy of Rio in Kunming that is voiced in Mandarin, and watched that last night. It helped to understand what she experiences all the time. She's also very calm and low key.
It turns out she can ride a bike and enjoys the pool. She and MeiLi are playing together a lot.
Canton tower
Back home...
Wednesday, July 15, 2015
patience and grace
A little background. I was asked a few years ago how is my relationship with God? My answer: different for each part of the Trinity.
For the Son, that one is easy. I get the roles of savior, brother and intercessor. Jesus is easy to relate to. For the Holy Spirit, the roles of counselor, coach and comforter again are very easy to understand and relate to.
But the Father, this one was not so easy. My relationship with my own father was complicated, and I projected that relationship onto the Father - and so God in the Father role was more challenging for me to trust.
My natural daughters arrived on the scene with a built in trust for Carolyn and I. As we get to know them at their deeper levels their trust for us was and is built in. I could kill it by betraying them, but trust in them for us started in place.
MeiLi is fully a human being and as such she has many layers. In getting to know MeiLi at her deeper levels, her trust for me has not been so built in. I can feel it when she pushes me away because she is not sure she can trust me. Her trust for me at the deeper levels is growing slowly. I have to wait and go slowly and sense when she is ready to take a risk and trust me more.
Because our older daughters can speak Mandarin, Ying has initially preferred the girls. In the past 9 days, Ying has not been so quick to trust Carolyn and I, especially me. That's OK. We don't know her personality or care experience. There's the language barrier. There are lots of potential reasons for her to hold back, and for me not to push through this quickly. So I wait.
Last night was the second time she played with me. She, MeiLi and I had a pillow fight. We were probably the ugly Americans, running in and out of the hallway and between the rooms yelling loudly - I am surprised we didn't get a call. It was a blast. It was also breakthrough in her willingness to trust me a little.
Romans 8:15 says we are adopted into God's family.
Projecting myself as an adopting father onto the Father helps me know that no matter how many times and at how many levels I have pushed God the Father away, He has all the more patience and grace for me, and is ready for me to take another step to trust Him and to deepen our relationship. He waits for me, then pours out His grace and love for me on me when I am willing. I didn't understand this through natural fatherhood, only through adoption.
Sunday, a rest day.
Early Sunday morning Allie and Nate left for KC. We missed them immediately.
We took Sunday as a day of rest, alternately eating, napping and going to the pool. The pool is the place to meet other adopting families from the US. Every US family comes to Guangzhou to get their visa, and most stay either here in the China Hotel Marriott or the Garden. It is a fun thing to run the standard set of questions: Is this your first child? How many natural? How many adopted? How old are your kids? Where are you from? What agency did you use? What are your kids special needs?
Yesterday I asked a couple where are you from? Iron Mountain, Michigan. Meeting other Yoopers in Guangzhou!!!! How cool is that?
(For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term Yooper - Michigan consists of 2 parts - the Upper Peninsula and the Lower Peninsula. The Upper Peninsula is known as the U.P., and people from the U.P. are Yoopers. The U.P. contains 30% of the land but only 3% of the people. So meeting a fellow Yooper anywhere is rare. I had no expectation of meeting fellow Yoopers in Guangzhou China. Of course we have common friends in Iron Mountain.
So one of the most fun things of being here is meeting other couples. And one of the most impressive things about other couples is the special needs that they are willing to take on. Some of these kids have significant, life-impacting medical issues. I have met my limits - and I haven't been able to tackle this type of issue. These people, who are able to take on these types of special needs, are my heroes. (Note, you can have a natural child with a special need and be my hero too, but these folks went in eyes-wide-open.)
Monday, a safari day.
Monday we went on a safari, which is really a big zoo with a tram ride. As zoos go, the Chime-Long Safari here in Guangzhou is a really nice one. Of the roughly 500 white tigers remaining in the world, roughly 40% are in this facility. And they have the only panda triplets in the world.
There are lots of animals. Where the KC zoo might have 4 or 5 of something, Guanzhou will have 30 or 50 on display. They all appear to be very well cared for.
They also had an animatronics Jurassic walk. We are sub-tropical here, so the forest is really lush and the dino-robots looked really natural.
One of the most surprising things was how close you could get some of the animals - some of the animals were out among us. I mean, not just kangaroos like in KC, but orangutans and monkeys. Also, we all got to hand feed the giraffes.
We returned to the hotel for a swim. Ying is getting more comfortable with swimming. She really made great progress this evening.
Wednesday, a Consulate Appointment day.
The appointment at the US consulate is the date that this entire trip pivoted around. The US has built a new consulate in the central business district of Guangzhou. Like the medical visit, this facility is far nicer and newer than our experience with MeiLi. We got up early (departing the hotel at 7:30 AM) and were done by 10:30. The potential hitch here was the TB test results - which Ying passed, so if there are no system delays (as there were a few weeks ago) the we should be getting a US visa on Wednesday.
Wednesday evening we took the dragon boat tour that Holt arranges. This is the same tour we took with MeiLi 4 years ago. It was fun to go back and remember.
For the Son, that one is easy. I get the roles of savior, brother and intercessor. Jesus is easy to relate to. For the Holy Spirit, the roles of counselor, coach and comforter again are very easy to understand and relate to.
But the Father, this one was not so easy. My relationship with my own father was complicated, and I projected that relationship onto the Father - and so God in the Father role was more challenging for me to trust.
My natural daughters arrived on the scene with a built in trust for Carolyn and I. As we get to know them at their deeper levels their trust for us was and is built in. I could kill it by betraying them, but trust in them for us started in place.
MeiLi is fully a human being and as such she has many layers. In getting to know MeiLi at her deeper levels, her trust for me has not been so built in. I can feel it when she pushes me away because she is not sure she can trust me. Her trust for me at the deeper levels is growing slowly. I have to wait and go slowly and sense when she is ready to take a risk and trust me more.
Because our older daughters can speak Mandarin, Ying has initially preferred the girls. In the past 9 days, Ying has not been so quick to trust Carolyn and I, especially me. That's OK. We don't know her personality or care experience. There's the language barrier. There are lots of potential reasons for her to hold back, and for me not to push through this quickly. So I wait.
Last night was the second time she played with me. She, MeiLi and I had a pillow fight. We were probably the ugly Americans, running in and out of the hallway and between the rooms yelling loudly - I am surprised we didn't get a call. It was a blast. It was also breakthrough in her willingness to trust me a little.
Romans 8:15 says we are adopted into God's family.
Projecting myself as an adopting father onto the Father helps me know that no matter how many times and at how many levels I have pushed God the Father away, He has all the more patience and grace for me, and is ready for me to take another step to trust Him and to deepen our relationship. He waits for me, then pours out His grace and love for me on me when I am willing. I didn't understand this through natural fatherhood, only through adoption.
Sunday, a rest day.
Early Sunday morning Allie and Nate left for KC. We missed them immediately.
We took Sunday as a day of rest, alternately eating, napping and going to the pool. The pool is the place to meet other adopting families from the US. Every US family comes to Guangzhou to get their visa, and most stay either here in the China Hotel Marriott or the Garden. It is a fun thing to run the standard set of questions: Is this your first child? How many natural? How many adopted? How old are your kids? Where are you from? What agency did you use? What are your kids special needs?
Yesterday I asked a couple where are you from? Iron Mountain, Michigan. Meeting other Yoopers in Guangzhou!!!! How cool is that?
(For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term Yooper - Michigan consists of 2 parts - the Upper Peninsula and the Lower Peninsula. The Upper Peninsula is known as the U.P., and people from the U.P. are Yoopers. The U.P. contains 30% of the land but only 3% of the people. So meeting a fellow Yooper anywhere is rare. I had no expectation of meeting fellow Yoopers in Guangzhou China. Of course we have common friends in Iron Mountain.
So one of the most fun things of being here is meeting other couples. And one of the most impressive things about other couples is the special needs that they are willing to take on. Some of these kids have significant, life-impacting medical issues. I have met my limits - and I haven't been able to tackle this type of issue. These people, who are able to take on these types of special needs, are my heroes. (Note, you can have a natural child with a special need and be my hero too, but these folks went in eyes-wide-open.)
Monday, a safari day.
Monday we went on a safari, which is really a big zoo with a tram ride. As zoos go, the Chime-Long Safari here in Guangzhou is a really nice one. Of the roughly 500 white tigers remaining in the world, roughly 40% are in this facility. And they have the only panda triplets in the world.
There are lots of animals. Where the KC zoo might have 4 or 5 of something, Guanzhou will have 30 or 50 on display. They all appear to be very well cared for.
They also had an animatronics Jurassic walk. We are sub-tropical here, so the forest is really lush and the dino-robots looked really natural.
One of the most surprising things was how close you could get some of the animals - some of the animals were out among us. I mean, not just kangaroos like in KC, but orangutans and monkeys. Also, we all got to hand feed the giraffes.
We returned to the hotel for a swim. Ying is getting more comfortable with swimming. She really made great progress this evening.
Wednesday, a Consulate Appointment day.
The appointment at the US consulate is the date that this entire trip pivoted around. The US has built a new consulate in the central business district of Guangzhou. Like the medical visit, this facility is far nicer and newer than our experience with MeiLi. We got up early (departing the hotel at 7:30 AM) and were done by 10:30. The potential hitch here was the TB test results - which Ying passed, so if there are no system delays (as there were a few weeks ago) the we should be getting a US visa on Wednesday.
Wednesday evening we took the dragon boat tour that Holt arranges. This is the same tour we took with MeiLi 4 years ago. It was fun to go back and remember.
Sunday, July 12, 2015
A passport, a passage, a place to rest, a place to remember
Friday - passport and passage
Friday began in Kunming, packing up to prepare for checking out. Around noon we went out for some brief shopping, then returned, checked out, and went to lunch at the Bamboo forest. We have learned how to order there and have really enjoyed this place.
About 4pm Selena showed up with Ying's passport. There are really 4 goals to this trip, a child, an adoption agreement, a Chinese passport, and a US visa. Three down and on schedule - the home team is celebrating.
Late Friday evening, we were shuttled to the spectacular Kunming airport for our flight to Guangzhou. The Kunming airport has only been open about 3 years. Much like Beijing's new terminal, this place is really, really dramatic and really nice. Aside from a couple beers to allay Carolyn's nerves, we weren't sure how to prepare Ying for her first airplane ride. Fun and curiosity? Nervousness and fear? Nausea and vomiting? She chose fun and curiosity, even fascination. More celebrating.
Regarding Chinese cities, each has it's character. Beijing is the center of political power in China. Much like DC you can feel the fierceness, might, history and legacy of the country there. And we've been told that Shanghai is the business capital in China. But Kunming is more frontier like - more of a western city on the edge of the mountains, the change from Beijing is much like leaving DC for a smaller western city in the states. It's more, uhhh, rustic. That's not really the right word because it's sub-tropical not desert and of course this is China.
Whatever - Guangzhou is a port city close to Hong Kong. The people here interact with other parts of the world frequently. There is more western influence, more western culture available. It doesn't seem so purely authentic China. At this point in the trip that's OK, even welcome. I would not have expected to find rest in a city of 16 million people, but because more western services are available, it's just easier to know what to expect. Guangzhou is a place to rest for us.
Saturday
Saturday we began with a visit to the Guangdong international travel medical office - the first step in the process to get a US visa. They have moved this place off Shamian Island and near downtown. It is far less crowded. Each child goes through a pretty decent health screening, making sure the US doesn't import any diseases. Tuberculosis is quite prevalent here, so everyone going to the US gets tested. Ying definitely did not like the blood draw but recovered quickly.
We returned to have lunch at a noodle and rice place near the hotel - our new favorite venue. Six entrée dishes, enough to feed the 8 of us, for 93 yuan, or ~15 US dollars. Less than $2 per person. And it was delicious.
After lunch we went up the hotel pool. It's a beautiful, 4th floor, outdoor pool. This was Ying's first time swimming. (We tried it in Kunming but the pool was too cold.) We stayed for several hours and she made a lot of progress. A few nose-fulls of water helped give her the appropriate respect for the water, but she loves it!
So far, even though we went to Beijing, we hadn't revisited any of the places from MeiLi's trip. We decided to take the subway to Shamian Island to wander around. When we came to Guangzhou with MeiLi, we stayed at the White Swan on the Island. They closed it for renovation shortly after we left 4 years ago, and it's still closed.
Returning to Shamian Island was surreal for us because we had such a fun time there with MeiLi. Many of the same shops are still open, and it was crowded with people enjoying it like it is one large park.
We split up at the end of the evening, Jenna, Ying, MeiLi and I returning for another round of swimming. Carolyn, Allie, Emmi and Nate continued to shop - at a big walking street near north of Shamian Island. We wondered how Ying would do with just Jenna and I, but she did fine.
As I write this Sunday morning, Allie and Nate have left to go home, flying first to Beijing, then the long grueling flight to Chicago, then Chicago to KC. I am so thankful for their joining us to participate in making Ying feel like a family member. Both their translating skills and their willingness to be open and friendly has made the transition so much easier. I pray for their safe return to KC and to their jobs.
Kunming Airport
First flight
The Noodle place in Guangzhou
China Hotel in Guangzhou
Shamian Island
Guangzhou shopping
Friday began in Kunming, packing up to prepare for checking out. Around noon we went out for some brief shopping, then returned, checked out, and went to lunch at the Bamboo forest. We have learned how to order there and have really enjoyed this place.
About 4pm Selena showed up with Ying's passport. There are really 4 goals to this trip, a child, an adoption agreement, a Chinese passport, and a US visa. Three down and on schedule - the home team is celebrating.
Late Friday evening, we were shuttled to the spectacular Kunming airport for our flight to Guangzhou. The Kunming airport has only been open about 3 years. Much like Beijing's new terminal, this place is really, really dramatic and really nice. Aside from a couple beers to allay Carolyn's nerves, we weren't sure how to prepare Ying for her first airplane ride. Fun and curiosity? Nervousness and fear? Nausea and vomiting? She chose fun and curiosity, even fascination. More celebrating.
Regarding Chinese cities, each has it's character. Beijing is the center of political power in China. Much like DC you can feel the fierceness, might, history and legacy of the country there. And we've been told that Shanghai is the business capital in China. But Kunming is more frontier like - more of a western city on the edge of the mountains, the change from Beijing is much like leaving DC for a smaller western city in the states. It's more, uhhh, rustic. That's not really the right word because it's sub-tropical not desert and of course this is China.
Whatever - Guangzhou is a port city close to Hong Kong. The people here interact with other parts of the world frequently. There is more western influence, more western culture available. It doesn't seem so purely authentic China. At this point in the trip that's OK, even welcome. I would not have expected to find rest in a city of 16 million people, but because more western services are available, it's just easier to know what to expect. Guangzhou is a place to rest for us.
Saturday
Saturday we began with a visit to the Guangdong international travel medical office - the first step in the process to get a US visa. They have moved this place off Shamian Island and near downtown. It is far less crowded. Each child goes through a pretty decent health screening, making sure the US doesn't import any diseases. Tuberculosis is quite prevalent here, so everyone going to the US gets tested. Ying definitely did not like the blood draw but recovered quickly.
We returned to have lunch at a noodle and rice place near the hotel - our new favorite venue. Six entrée dishes, enough to feed the 8 of us, for 93 yuan, or ~15 US dollars. Less than $2 per person. And it was delicious.
After lunch we went up the hotel pool. It's a beautiful, 4th floor, outdoor pool. This was Ying's first time swimming. (We tried it in Kunming but the pool was too cold.) We stayed for several hours and she made a lot of progress. A few nose-fulls of water helped give her the appropriate respect for the water, but she loves it!
So far, even though we went to Beijing, we hadn't revisited any of the places from MeiLi's trip. We decided to take the subway to Shamian Island to wander around. When we came to Guangzhou with MeiLi, we stayed at the White Swan on the Island. They closed it for renovation shortly after we left 4 years ago, and it's still closed.
Returning to Shamian Island was surreal for us because we had such a fun time there with MeiLi. Many of the same shops are still open, and it was crowded with people enjoying it like it is one large park.
We split up at the end of the evening, Jenna, Ying, MeiLi and I returning for another round of swimming. Carolyn, Allie, Emmi and Nate continued to shop - at a big walking street near north of Shamian Island. We wondered how Ying would do with just Jenna and I, but she did fine.
As I write this Sunday morning, Allie and Nate have left to go home, flying first to Beijing, then the long grueling flight to Chicago, then Chicago to KC. I am so thankful for their joining us to participate in making Ying feel like a family member. Both their translating skills and their willingness to be open and friendly has made the transition so much easier. I pray for their safe return to KC and to their jobs.
Kunming Airport
First flight
The Noodle place in Guangzhou
China Hotel in Guangzhou
Shamian Island
Guangzhou shopping
Thursday, July 9, 2015
Anything that can be shaken...
Thursday was July 9th, the fourth anniversary of our departure to China for MeiLi. Thank you Lord for blessing us with her.
I am getting some positive feedback for my writing of this as we are here. I have a confession. Everything we do here is a group effort. I write the first draft, then the others change anything they want. They fix typos and grammar, but they also fill it out.
By handing this over before we publish I admit daily that the best of all of us has far more depth and richness and color than the best of me. As my family changes things, I learn to write better by discovering the good and the bad about my writing as revealed in their editing.
The development of the blog is a picture of being here. This is a refinement process for all of us. The rewards of adopting an older child are incredible. All the potential of wonderful blessing is here. Even so, we are now down to the day-by-day, and this isn't a vacation - there are parts of it that are just raw hard work. And when we are tired of working hard, it just keeps going. Each of us is homesick, tired of the food and of living in such close quarters, wants to drink water from the tap, and read something or speak to someone in English. Within the challenge we are dealing with a new daughter who is beautiful and wonderful in every way, but who doesn't understand us and whose communication with us is limited. So this is a challenge and there is pressure. In the midst of the pressure, the good and the bad, the right and the wrong motivations come out in our behavior towards each other.
Carolyn is a member of several adoption groups who also write about their experiences. To me, one of the most concerning things someone wrote is "I sacrificed my family while trying to help the one." We don't have the same kid that they do, and our experience is unique, but we share some common factors. In our shared factors, they seem to present the question: Will the challenge get beyond our ability to cope in our own strength? Will God give us something beyond what we can handle? The answer is certainly yes, this is beyond what we can handle or deal with on our own.
The question is, what do I do? When a wrong motivation or a bad part of me is exposed, how do I handle it? Do I hang onto it and say "that IS me" and if it is a bad foundation allow myself to be crushed in the process? Or do I let go of the wrong quickly and hang on to only the good, allowing myself to be refined as I come through this?
Honestly, I am humbled by my wife and daughters and Nate as they reveal their refined beauty and strength. I am in awe as I watch them allow themselves to grow. With all my heart and love for them I wish that this were easier. But it's not. Crushed or refined is their choice; nobody gets away unchanged. Yet again and again they choose to be refined. I love them so much, it is deeply painful to participate in. I sometimes feel shamed as I awkwardly try to lead them through it and fail to see parts of the picture. I am also trying to let go quickly of my wrong motivations and bad parts as well.
In faith, I believe that there is a Father more loving that I whose kind hand is upon us. I trust that He is guiding us and will see us through this refinement, and that each of us will have character that is more in His image as we walk with Him through this. I trust that His refining is for a purpose, and that His purpose is greater than ourselves. He will never give us more than HE can handle. We love and trust and depend on Him. And His strength is made perfect in weakness.
Amen.
Overall the day was low key. Really, we are just waiting around for a passport. In the morning Ying and MeiLi took a bubble bath together. I think maximum fun was had by all.
Being in a major city in China means that the street level of every high rise building, well, every building high or low, is filled by a row of small businesses. It seemed that yesterday all of these businesses tried to get our attention by standing in their store fronts with portable microphones, yelling to us in Mandarin, Chinese pop music blaring. We walked out into the chaos to try to find MP3 players for Ying and MeiLi. Since everyone now has music on their phones, this is a remarkably difficult thing to buy. After touring Walmart and China's equivalent of Best Buy, we started diving into the little street-side electronic shops. We eventually found a MP3 player for both Ying and MeiLi at a very reasonable cost. ("plack" market, perhaps?)
An MP3 player is a fairly simple device. You would think that loading one up with songs and using them would be relatively easy. Their biggest limitation seems to be that they have relatively small and cryptic displays, in this case the mystery was enhanced by that they display only Mandarin characters. Thursday was Jenna's day for the rescue. She sat down with the girls, played through all the songs on her phone, made lists of their preferences, loaded up their players and got them going. Happy campers all around.
Lunch was in the Bamboo forest, dinner at the hotel. Friday we will say goodbye to Kunming - the city of eternal spring. This area is sub-tropical but elevated (over a mile high), so the weather is a pretty constant 75 degrees year round. Kunming Yunnan, thanks for sharing one of your finest with us. Next up Guangzhou and getting a US visa.
I am getting some positive feedback for my writing of this as we are here. I have a confession. Everything we do here is a group effort. I write the first draft, then the others change anything they want. They fix typos and grammar, but they also fill it out.
By handing this over before we publish I admit daily that the best of all of us has far more depth and richness and color than the best of me. As my family changes things, I learn to write better by discovering the good and the bad about my writing as revealed in their editing.
The development of the blog is a picture of being here. This is a refinement process for all of us. The rewards of adopting an older child are incredible. All the potential of wonderful blessing is here. Even so, we are now down to the day-by-day, and this isn't a vacation - there are parts of it that are just raw hard work. And when we are tired of working hard, it just keeps going. Each of us is homesick, tired of the food and of living in such close quarters, wants to drink water from the tap, and read something or speak to someone in English. Within the challenge we are dealing with a new daughter who is beautiful and wonderful in every way, but who doesn't understand us and whose communication with us is limited. So this is a challenge and there is pressure. In the midst of the pressure, the good and the bad, the right and the wrong motivations come out in our behavior towards each other.
Carolyn is a member of several adoption groups who also write about their experiences. To me, one of the most concerning things someone wrote is "I sacrificed my family while trying to help the one." We don't have the same kid that they do, and our experience is unique, but we share some common factors. In our shared factors, they seem to present the question: Will the challenge get beyond our ability to cope in our own strength? Will God give us something beyond what we can handle? The answer is certainly yes, this is beyond what we can handle or deal with on our own.
The question is, what do I do? When a wrong motivation or a bad part of me is exposed, how do I handle it? Do I hang onto it and say "that IS me" and if it is a bad foundation allow myself to be crushed in the process? Or do I let go of the wrong quickly and hang on to only the good, allowing myself to be refined as I come through this?
Honestly, I am humbled by my wife and daughters and Nate as they reveal their refined beauty and strength. I am in awe as I watch them allow themselves to grow. With all my heart and love for them I wish that this were easier. But it's not. Crushed or refined is their choice; nobody gets away unchanged. Yet again and again they choose to be refined. I love them so much, it is deeply painful to participate in. I sometimes feel shamed as I awkwardly try to lead them through it and fail to see parts of the picture. I am also trying to let go quickly of my wrong motivations and bad parts as well.
In faith, I believe that there is a Father more loving that I whose kind hand is upon us. I trust that He is guiding us and will see us through this refinement, and that each of us will have character that is more in His image as we walk with Him through this. I trust that His refining is for a purpose, and that His purpose is greater than ourselves. He will never give us more than HE can handle. We love and trust and depend on Him. And His strength is made perfect in weakness.
Amen.
Overall the day was low key. Really, we are just waiting around for a passport. In the morning Ying and MeiLi took a bubble bath together. I think maximum fun was had by all.
Being in a major city in China means that the street level of every high rise building, well, every building high or low, is filled by a row of small businesses. It seemed that yesterday all of these businesses tried to get our attention by standing in their store fronts with portable microphones, yelling to us in Mandarin, Chinese pop music blaring. We walked out into the chaos to try to find MP3 players for Ying and MeiLi. Since everyone now has music on their phones, this is a remarkably difficult thing to buy. After touring Walmart and China's equivalent of Best Buy, we started diving into the little street-side electronic shops. We eventually found a MP3 player for both Ying and MeiLi at a very reasonable cost. ("plack" market, perhaps?)
An MP3 player is a fairly simple device. You would think that loading one up with songs and using them would be relatively easy. Their biggest limitation seems to be that they have relatively small and cryptic displays, in this case the mystery was enhanced by that they display only Mandarin characters. Thursday was Jenna's day for the rescue. She sat down with the girls, played through all the songs on her phone, made lists of their preferences, loaded up their players and got them going. Happy campers all around.
Lunch was in the Bamboo forest, dinner at the hotel. Friday we will say goodbye to Kunming - the city of eternal spring. This area is sub-tropical but elevated (over a mile high), so the weather is a pretty constant 75 degrees year round. Kunming Yunnan, thanks for sharing one of your finest with us. Next up Guangzhou and getting a US visa.
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
It is finished - it is just beginning
Tuesday - it is finished
After breakfast we and another Holt couple (from Blue Springs MO) went by bus to a Chinese government office. It was a fairly small office and there were a lot of people there, including: The couple from Blue Springs -10 month old boy; a couple from North Carolina -9 month old girl, family from MN -13 year old girl; family from Ireland -2 year old girl. Further, Ying's 4 orphanage workers had also come by to love on her one last time.
This was the signing of the adoption paperwork and the finalization of the adoption in China. The adoption agreement in China requires a lot of promises: We will provide care, we will not abuse nor abandon, we will provide education, etc. We sign by both name and fingerprint. They take our photos. There is an exchange of funds between Holt and China (amazingly, in cash). We give small gifts to the officials and to the orphanage workers. We had plenty of time to chat with everyone else in the room because the process took a long time.
When it was all over, the adoption became final in China. According to Chinese law, Ying is now ours and is no longer a Chinese citizen. The remainder of our time here in Kunming is us waiting for the Chinese government to produce a passport, which is the last of her Chinese exit paperwork.
Beyond getting to know the families that we adopted with (they are also in our hotel, some on the same floor), there are also two families here (one from Hawaii and one from Massachusetts) who are here on heritage tours. That is, they adopted in Kunming years ago and are here visiting the orphanages and even reuniting with foster families. The easy connection with these folks happens at breakfast.
After the finalization of the adoption, we made arrangements with Selena to go shopping in the afternoon. We were looking for a photography business that would do traditional Chinese photos for MeiLi (similar to the ones Ying had done.) After some walking and visiting some shops, we found a studio and made an appointment for the following day.
Dinner was an outdoor restaurant near the hotel. The tables are arranged by stone tile walkways in the middle of a bamboo forest within a courtyard. The place was as elegant, enchanting and magical as any restaurant I've ever encountered. No English on the menu, so ordering was an adventure. Eventually Allie and Jenna figured it out and we did well. It was very fun.
Back at our hotel after dinner, we played small games that Carolyn had picked up. We had some glow sticks that could be inserted into a clear beach ball and so it was lights off with a game of catch in the dark. There was a lot of laughing and giggling and Ying seemed to fit right into the family. She is very intelligent, sensitive and observant. She senses easily what is going on.
At 9PM we received a knock on the door from one of the other adopting couples who were first time parents. Their infant son had been crying for the last hour and a half and was inconsolable. Carolyn went down to their room, suggested they go on a walk to give themselves a break, and soon after she had him asleep. They returned again to our room about 11PM, he was awake and crying again, and Carolyn did the same, this time with more suggestions on what might help to calm him down. After this they made it through the night. Carolyn is an amazing mom with a heart for many, especially children from difficult places.
Wednesday - it is just beginning.
About noon Carolyn, Emmi and MeiLi took off on foot with our guide Selena for MeiLi's photo shoot. That left Allie, Nate, Jenna, Ying and I to fill the afternoon.
After lunch we went clothes shopping for Ying, which involved a lot of walking. The rain held off, and it was a warm and sunny. Walking in the heat was challenging. There was a moment when Allie drew away from the group, which made Ying nervous - and as intelligent as she is, she began to process what her future with us looked like - maybe for the first time.
As we got back to the hotel, she seemed to increasingly withdraw. We didn't understand what was going on and so we called Selena to come and talk to her. Eventually, Selena was able to determine that no one in the orphanage had described to Ying the upcoming challenges of her future, and it was hitting home. Her concern was that she didn't speak English. My concern is that this makes it difficult for us to affirm her. She is only left to fill in the blanks with her own thoughts and insecurities. Again, everyone did their part to support her and each other as best we could. Emmi held Ying as she cried. We were very thankful - we expect this to be challenging, especially for her - what we did not know was if she would let us help her through it. It was so sad but so beautiful to see Emmi holding her, telling her we love her, and that it's ok to cry.
(We later enjoyed the resemblance to a recent new-favorite movie. We expect more of these moments - and embrace them as a family growing together.)
What renewed joy was an effort by the girls to begin to teach her English. By the end of the evening she was back to laughing and playing and enjoying life with the rest of us. She even exchanged "wo ai ni"s with us at bedtime ("I love you" in Chinese).
A few observations about Ying. She is fully a nine year old. As such she is quite a bit more layered, complex and sophisticated than MeiLi was at the age of five during her adoption. In all of this she is courageous and kind-hearted and is really doing an incredible job. I hope we can go carefully and do well with such a precious gift.
From Monday - initial arrival
Tuesday - Finalizing the adoption
Tuesday - getting more comfortable with Jenna and MeiLi
. . . and Emmi's hair
After breakfast we and another Holt couple (from Blue Springs MO) went by bus to a Chinese government office. It was a fairly small office and there were a lot of people there, including: The couple from Blue Springs -10 month old boy; a couple from North Carolina -9 month old girl, family from MN -13 year old girl; family from Ireland -2 year old girl. Further, Ying's 4 orphanage workers had also come by to love on her one last time.
This was the signing of the adoption paperwork and the finalization of the adoption in China. The adoption agreement in China requires a lot of promises: We will provide care, we will not abuse nor abandon, we will provide education, etc. We sign by both name and fingerprint. They take our photos. There is an exchange of funds between Holt and China (amazingly, in cash). We give small gifts to the officials and to the orphanage workers. We had plenty of time to chat with everyone else in the room because the process took a long time.
When it was all over, the adoption became final in China. According to Chinese law, Ying is now ours and is no longer a Chinese citizen. The remainder of our time here in Kunming is us waiting for the Chinese government to produce a passport, which is the last of her Chinese exit paperwork.
Beyond getting to know the families that we adopted with (they are also in our hotel, some on the same floor), there are also two families here (one from Hawaii and one from Massachusetts) who are here on heritage tours. That is, they adopted in Kunming years ago and are here visiting the orphanages and even reuniting with foster families. The easy connection with these folks happens at breakfast.
After the finalization of the adoption, we made arrangements with Selena to go shopping in the afternoon. We were looking for a photography business that would do traditional Chinese photos for MeiLi (similar to the ones Ying had done.) After some walking and visiting some shops, we found a studio and made an appointment for the following day.
Dinner was an outdoor restaurant near the hotel. The tables are arranged by stone tile walkways in the middle of a bamboo forest within a courtyard. The place was as elegant, enchanting and magical as any restaurant I've ever encountered. No English on the menu, so ordering was an adventure. Eventually Allie and Jenna figured it out and we did well. It was very fun.
Back at our hotel after dinner, we played small games that Carolyn had picked up. We had some glow sticks that could be inserted into a clear beach ball and so it was lights off with a game of catch in the dark. There was a lot of laughing and giggling and Ying seemed to fit right into the family. She is very intelligent, sensitive and observant. She senses easily what is going on.
At 9PM we received a knock on the door from one of the other adopting couples who were first time parents. Their infant son had been crying for the last hour and a half and was inconsolable. Carolyn went down to their room, suggested they go on a walk to give themselves a break, and soon after she had him asleep. They returned again to our room about 11PM, he was awake and crying again, and Carolyn did the same, this time with more suggestions on what might help to calm him down. After this they made it through the night. Carolyn is an amazing mom with a heart for many, especially children from difficult places.
Wednesday - it is just beginning.
About noon Carolyn, Emmi and MeiLi took off on foot with our guide Selena for MeiLi's photo shoot. That left Allie, Nate, Jenna, Ying and I to fill the afternoon.
After lunch we went clothes shopping for Ying, which involved a lot of walking. The rain held off, and it was a warm and sunny. Walking in the heat was challenging. There was a moment when Allie drew away from the group, which made Ying nervous - and as intelligent as she is, she began to process what her future with us looked like - maybe for the first time.
As we got back to the hotel, she seemed to increasingly withdraw. We didn't understand what was going on and so we called Selena to come and talk to her. Eventually, Selena was able to determine that no one in the orphanage had described to Ying the upcoming challenges of her future, and it was hitting home. Her concern was that she didn't speak English. My concern is that this makes it difficult for us to affirm her. She is only left to fill in the blanks with her own thoughts and insecurities. Again, everyone did their part to support her and each other as best we could. Emmi held Ying as she cried. We were very thankful - we expect this to be challenging, especially for her - what we did not know was if she would let us help her through it. It was so sad but so beautiful to see Emmi holding her, telling her we love her, and that it's ok to cry.
(We later enjoyed the resemblance to a recent new-favorite movie. We expect more of these moments - and embrace them as a family growing together.)
What renewed joy was an effort by the girls to begin to teach her English. By the end of the evening she was back to laughing and playing and enjoying life with the rest of us. She even exchanged "wo ai ni"s with us at bedtime ("I love you" in Chinese).
A few observations about Ying. She is fully a nine year old. As such she is quite a bit more layered, complex and sophisticated than MeiLi was at the age of five during her adoption. In all of this she is courageous and kind-hearted and is really doing an incredible job. I hope we can go carefully and do well with such a precious gift.
From Monday - initial arrival
Tuesday - Finalizing the adoption
Tuesday - getting more comfortable with Jenna and MeiLi
MeiLi and Ying under the covers
The bamboo forest
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
Joy comes in the morning
And it's always morning somewhere, so joy is always available. This time it was morning back in Kansas City, but five in the afternoon here.
Yesterday after another wonderful breakfast we came back to the rooms and cleaned them up to prepare for Ying's arrival. We were to meet her in the hotel lobby between 3 and 5. (Interestingly, we met MeiLi at a local government office in Changchun. So bringing Ying to the hotel was different for us.) The local Holt / Lotus partner guide (Selena) was going to call us just before they arrived.
I will spare you the details of the morning.
Around 3:00 we came back to the hotel to wait. The hotel rooms themselves are not much fun so we called Selena for a timing update. She replied she had just talked to them, they were on the way, on schedule, that they gave her no additional detail regarding how soon.
So we were just hanging out here. The kids decided to go check out the pool to see if it was a good option for later with Ying.
Regarding sleeping accommodations, we were a bed short and had contacted room service to bring in another one. They had said five minutes. A knock at the door - I commented: it must be the bed.
I opened the door - and there she was. Ying, Selena, and 4 people - two orphanage care givers and two government officials. Only Carolyn and I in the room. So surprised, and so happy.
That it was only Carolyn and I initially ended up being somewhat of a blessing. Ying was pretty terrified. She only made it in as far as the entry hallway, then the bed. She was struggling.
A few minutes later, Nate and the girls showed up - also very surprised and excited, but not wanting to overwhelm her more than she already was. We started the paperwork for a 1-day care giving agreement (in China the adoption finalizes one day later). An orphanage worker took Ying out in the hallway to console her. Allie offered to go talk to her. Carolyn said go for it. Once in a while you need a clutch player, and I tell you what, this time was Allie's turn. She reached down deep, pulled out a bunch of Mandarin, and came through. Ying's primary concern was the inability to communicate with us. Allie really broke the ice and made Ying feel comfortable. After a bit she was smiling and laughing and down on the floor with the girls and Nate building a puzzle.
Each of our girls really helped Ying get comfortable. MeiLi's role was unique for Ying, however. I didn't know if MeiLi was going to be jealous-selfish or giving-reaching but so far she has taken this as a life-long play date. It doesn't matter to her that they don't speak the same language - they have been having a great time together and that is all that has mattered to MeiLi.
Someone at the orphanage had taken the time to prepare some gifts for us. One of them was a book of photos of Ying dressed in traditional Chinese royal clothing and makeup. She is shockingly graceful and beautiful in these photos. Wow.
The day progressed with each of us in turn doing what we could to help her feel comfortable in simple ways. We walked through nearby Green Lake Park. People were singing and dancing in various groups. Emmi joined one of the groups dancing. We found a small carnival and MeiLi and Ying rode a couple of rides. We found ice cream and cotton candy. We found dinner. The day closed with reading in bed and a little TV.
Adoption is such a beautiful and amazing thing. It's a long process to get here - lots of paperwork and interviews and preparation. But then, in a moment, here we are, she is with us, and it is all worth it. She is above and beyond all we can hope or think to ask for. As I write this she and MeiLi are "napping" by goofing around in the other room. Yeah we are from different continents and don't speak the same language, but when there is love, spoken language fades into the background.
Day one with Ying was much like Day one with each of the girls, profound, beautiful and even exhausting. The entire future begins today. I am thankful for each of us, including Nate, who pulled together and supported each other throughout the day. We are able to do this because we love each other and we work well together as a team. Thanks be to God for my wonderful family and for our newest daughter.
Yesterday after another wonderful breakfast we came back to the rooms and cleaned them up to prepare for Ying's arrival. We were to meet her in the hotel lobby between 3 and 5. (Interestingly, we met MeiLi at a local government office in Changchun. So bringing Ying to the hotel was different for us.) The local Holt / Lotus partner guide (Selena) was going to call us just before they arrived.
I will spare you the details of the morning.
Around 3:00 we came back to the hotel to wait. The hotel rooms themselves are not much fun so we called Selena for a timing update. She replied she had just talked to them, they were on the way, on schedule, that they gave her no additional detail regarding how soon.
So we were just hanging out here. The kids decided to go check out the pool to see if it was a good option for later with Ying.
Regarding sleeping accommodations, we were a bed short and had contacted room service to bring in another one. They had said five minutes. A knock at the door - I commented: it must be the bed.
I opened the door - and there she was. Ying, Selena, and 4 people - two orphanage care givers and two government officials. Only Carolyn and I in the room. So surprised, and so happy.
That it was only Carolyn and I initially ended up being somewhat of a blessing. Ying was pretty terrified. She only made it in as far as the entry hallway, then the bed. She was struggling.
A few minutes later, Nate and the girls showed up - also very surprised and excited, but not wanting to overwhelm her more than she already was. We started the paperwork for a 1-day care giving agreement (in China the adoption finalizes one day later). An orphanage worker took Ying out in the hallway to console her. Allie offered to go talk to her. Carolyn said go for it. Once in a while you need a clutch player, and I tell you what, this time was Allie's turn. She reached down deep, pulled out a bunch of Mandarin, and came through. Ying's primary concern was the inability to communicate with us. Allie really broke the ice and made Ying feel comfortable. After a bit she was smiling and laughing and down on the floor with the girls and Nate building a puzzle.
Each of our girls really helped Ying get comfortable. MeiLi's role was unique for Ying, however. I didn't know if MeiLi was going to be jealous-selfish or giving-reaching but so far she has taken this as a life-long play date. It doesn't matter to her that they don't speak the same language - they have been having a great time together and that is all that has mattered to MeiLi.
Someone at the orphanage had taken the time to prepare some gifts for us. One of them was a book of photos of Ying dressed in traditional Chinese royal clothing and makeup. She is shockingly graceful and beautiful in these photos. Wow.
The day progressed with each of us in turn doing what we could to help her feel comfortable in simple ways. We walked through nearby Green Lake Park. People were singing and dancing in various groups. Emmi joined one of the groups dancing. We found a small carnival and MeiLi and Ying rode a couple of rides. We found ice cream and cotton candy. We found dinner. The day closed with reading in bed and a little TV.
Adoption is such a beautiful and amazing thing. It's a long process to get here - lots of paperwork and interviews and preparation. But then, in a moment, here we are, she is with us, and it is all worth it. She is above and beyond all we can hope or think to ask for. As I write this she and MeiLi are "napping" by goofing around in the other room. Yeah we are from different continents and don't speak the same language, but when there is love, spoken language fades into the background.
Day one with Ying was much like Day one with each of the girls, profound, beautiful and even exhausting. The entire future begins today. I am thankful for each of us, including Nate, who pulled together and supported each other throughout the day. We are able to do this because we love each other and we work well together as a team. Thanks be to God for my wonderful family and for our newest daughter.
Sunday, July 5, 2015
Sunday in Kunming
One question was how well was MeiLi going to do in China. For example, were any smells or tastes or sights going to bring back painful memories, etc. The outcome is so far she's loving it here. She loves the food and the fruit and she just skips around all the time.
She did have one moment where she got pretty homesick for her friends Kenna, Cole and Valerie. Beyond that, she's all happy kid.
Sunday we woke up in Kunming. Now that Holt and Lotus have taken control of the schedule, it means we're in a 5 star hotel. That means BREAKFAST. And this one did not disappoint - full on Asian and western breakfasts.
It is kind of weird to badly need an anchor point (besides Jesus). I confess that beyond my family around me, breakfast is it for me. I don't care what happens during the rest of the day - I can get back to eat western food and recover. This is a good reminder of how difficult it could be for Ying to transition over to the USA with us. She could be more deeply rooted in China than MeiLi was.
We were planning to go out to the Stone Forest. But everyone was still getting hit pretty hard by jet lag. So we went back to the room and crashed.
Mid afternoon we went out looking for lunch. We found a pizza hut. Not as healthy as we ate in Beijing, but comfort food. On the way back from lunch, we turned into a row of shops in an alley. The first 50 or so shops were selling chops (jade or wood ink stamping blocks). Why do you need so many? Who gets past the first 10?
Regardless, the great mall of Kunming went on and on for blocks, turn after turn, alley after alley. We were there for 3-4 hours. It rained on and off. There was everything for sale - fans, belts, purses,
jewelry, clothing... We all bought something.
Then there were the little kids - the most fun thing about this place. They would giggle wildly as the girls and Nate would kneel down and talk to them in Chinese. A constant riot.
The least fun were the pet shops. Live animals (including birds, cats, puppies, bunnies, piglets(!), guinea pigs and a hedge hog) trapped in tiny cages. Pets are a new luxury in China, but without the ASPCA to help.
We came back to the room and found jet lag still hitting pretty fiercely. I fell asleep about 7 and slept for 9 hours straight - until now, drafting this - up again at 4 AM.
We get Ying Skyelin this afternoon (Monday) between 3 and 6 PM. Very exciting.
She did have one moment where she got pretty homesick for her friends Kenna, Cole and Valerie. Beyond that, she's all happy kid.
Sunday we woke up in Kunming. Now that Holt and Lotus have taken control of the schedule, it means we're in a 5 star hotel. That means BREAKFAST. And this one did not disappoint - full on Asian and western breakfasts.
It is kind of weird to badly need an anchor point (besides Jesus). I confess that beyond my family around me, breakfast is it for me. I don't care what happens during the rest of the day - I can get back to eat western food and recover. This is a good reminder of how difficult it could be for Ying to transition over to the USA with us. She could be more deeply rooted in China than MeiLi was.
We were planning to go out to the Stone Forest. But everyone was still getting hit pretty hard by jet lag. So we went back to the room and crashed.
Mid afternoon we went out looking for lunch. We found a pizza hut. Not as healthy as we ate in Beijing, but comfort food. On the way back from lunch, we turned into a row of shops in an alley. The first 50 or so shops were selling chops (jade or wood ink stamping blocks). Why do you need so many? Who gets past the first 10?
Regardless, the great mall of Kunming went on and on for blocks, turn after turn, alley after alley. We were there for 3-4 hours. It rained on and off. There was everything for sale - fans, belts, purses,
jewelry, clothing... We all bought something.
Then there were the little kids - the most fun thing about this place. They would giggle wildly as the girls and Nate would kneel down and talk to them in Chinese. A constant riot.
The least fun were the pet shops. Live animals (including birds, cats, puppies, bunnies, piglets(!), guinea pigs and a hedge hog) trapped in tiny cages. Pets are a new luxury in China, but without the ASPCA to help.
We came back to the room and found jet lag still hitting pretty fiercely. I fell asleep about 7 and slept for 9 hours straight - until now, drafting this - up again at 4 AM.
We get Ying Skyelin this afternoon (Monday) between 3 and 6 PM. Very exciting.
Saturday in the park, it feels like the fourth of July
Early Sunday morning: Jet lag has hit, Carolyn, Nate and I are awake in the middle of the night. I will do some writing.
Saturday (yesterday) we woke up in Beijing at 5:30. We packed up and met our guide David at 7 to beat the traffic. I don't think it worked. You can't believe the number of cars here, or how close together they are, or the different rhythm of the traffic (that is, everyone cutting in). And our guide, David, drove like a maniac. At some points I was sure we were going to hit something, but we got through unscratched. Mostly I felt oddly at peace.
We drove down past downtown Beijing and along Tiananmen Square and then David let us out near the Temple of Heaven. The Temple of Heaven area is like a giant park filled with groups of people who are doing different things, e.g. Tai Chi, dance, yoyo, many different games. Nate joined several games of hacky sack. MeiLi tried the yoyos with a group of men. We wandered there for a couple of hours, then lunch, then to the airport to fly to Kunming. We arrived at the hotel about 8:30 PM and met a woman in the lobby with a KC Royals t-shirt on. She was from Overland Park, currently living and working in San Francisco and here on business.
The above was a very brief description for a lot of activity, so we fell into bed exhausted. But a travel day doesn't typically give much to write about so I will give a couple of impressions about being back in China.
Last time being in China seemed strange, this time seems strangely familiar and comfortable. This is unexpected. Some things are different. There is a lot more English on signs, street signs, menus now. Four years ago there was no hope of figuring anything out.
The Chinese people are very happy and friendly. Yes, many long stares, but very friendly as soon as you start interacting with them.
Our adoption agency and travel agency could have done more to prepare us for Kunming. When we arrived it was cold and raining. Our guide announced "It's rainy season here, I hope you brought the right clothes and an umbrella." Well, that news could have been helpful a little earlier.
Kunming is the largest city I've never heard of, I think about 6.5 million people. Jet lag ending - I will lay down for a while. Hoping this makes sense.
Friday, July 3, 2015
Our back to the wall
We are in China. Man that 13 hour flight is grueling. Hainan Airlines worked out fine - no undue difficulty on the flight. About hour nine I was ready to get out.
Carolyn found an apartment in Beijing through Airbnb.com. Our hosts, David and Linda, are wonderful people. David picked us up at the airport, drove us to his rental apartment (on the east side of Beijing - in a suburban neighborhood - meaning high rise apartments), and then introduced us to a dumpling restaurant for dinner. It was really great - we had 4 kinds of dumplings - we really liked the pork and leek.
We stopped at a local grocery store, came back to the apartment and I slept like a stone.
The 13 hour time change is really hard. We apologize in advance for any strange writing.
We left early this morning (6:30 AM here) to avoid traffic on the way to the Great Wall. We stopped at Starbucks in a very high end Beijing neighborhood along the way. One always wonders what a chain will be like in China. For example, KFC is nothing like KFC in the States. Starbucks is EXACTLY THE SAME here in China as it is in KC.
Our guide David selected a section of the wall that was not a tourist area, at our request. This area may not even be open to the public. We left his van in a little village at a family restaurant and chicken farm at the valley floor. You would not believe the number of chickens. And the constant crowing. We climbed up to the wall through the woods - quite a long and steep climb - but with many peach trees along the way - we were eating the peaches as we climbed. Because of the dryness here, the peaches are bite-sized. It was a totally cool thing to just reach out and snack while hiking. Then we came upon a completely unrestored section of the wall that followed the top of a ridge. It was steep, it was broken, and it was covered with brush. We spent about 5 hours climbing and playing around up there. No amount of pictures will do this experience justice. This section was totally original and totally a blast.
David also brought his 7 year old son along who played with MeiLi. Although they couldn't speak to each other a whole lot, they were the cutest mini couple I'd ever seen. They played and played and MeiLi was braver on the wall because of QunLun's ability to climb up and down.
We saw only one other hiker while on the wall. A 19 year old German physics student named Paul - he had lived in London so his accent is British. He was really fun and he joined our group for several hours. He was going to be in China for a month.
Then we went back to the restaurant / chicken farm for a late lunch. There's no ambiance quite like an outdoor restaurant with continuously crowing roosters. The food David ordered was incredible.
On the drive back into town we stopped at one of the Ming Tombs. There are many of these sites on the north side of Beijing. This was sort of a mini Forbidden City - a large walled courtyard with several buildings and gates. The Memory Hall was just like the palaces in the Forbidden City - but in this case you could get inside - very spectacular wood work and architecture.
We returned to our apartment for a nap. David and Linda took us out for late dinner at a local restaurant. When we are inside the Holt / Lotus (adoption agency, travel agency) control, we stay in the safe, presented tourist areas. During this time we are in a regular area experiencing the real Chinese local culture, where being openly stared at is part of the job! This part of the trip was about getting over the jet lag, but I wish we had more time here - this is so much fun.
Carolyn found an apartment in Beijing through Airbnb.com. Our hosts, David and Linda, are wonderful people. David picked us up at the airport, drove us to his rental apartment (on the east side of Beijing - in a suburban neighborhood - meaning high rise apartments), and then introduced us to a dumpling restaurant for dinner. It was really great - we had 4 kinds of dumplings - we really liked the pork and leek.
We stopped at a local grocery store, came back to the apartment and I slept like a stone.
The 13 hour time change is really hard. We apologize in advance for any strange writing.
We left early this morning (6:30 AM here) to avoid traffic on the way to the Great Wall. We stopped at Starbucks in a very high end Beijing neighborhood along the way. One always wonders what a chain will be like in China. For example, KFC is nothing like KFC in the States. Starbucks is EXACTLY THE SAME here in China as it is in KC.
Our guide David selected a section of the wall that was not a tourist area, at our request. This area may not even be open to the public. We left his van in a little village at a family restaurant and chicken farm at the valley floor. You would not believe the number of chickens. And the constant crowing. We climbed up to the wall through the woods - quite a long and steep climb - but with many peach trees along the way - we were eating the peaches as we climbed. Because of the dryness here, the peaches are bite-sized. It was a totally cool thing to just reach out and snack while hiking. Then we came upon a completely unrestored section of the wall that followed the top of a ridge. It was steep, it was broken, and it was covered with brush. We spent about 5 hours climbing and playing around up there. No amount of pictures will do this experience justice. This section was totally original and totally a blast.
David also brought his 7 year old son along who played with MeiLi. Although they couldn't speak to each other a whole lot, they were the cutest mini couple I'd ever seen. They played and played and MeiLi was braver on the wall because of QunLun's ability to climb up and down.
We saw only one other hiker while on the wall. A 19 year old German physics student named Paul - he had lived in London so his accent is British. He was really fun and he joined our group for several hours. He was going to be in China for a month.
Then we went back to the restaurant / chicken farm for a late lunch. There's no ambiance quite like an outdoor restaurant with continuously crowing roosters. The food David ordered was incredible.
On the drive back into town we stopped at one of the Ming Tombs. There are many of these sites on the north side of Beijing. This was sort of a mini Forbidden City - a large walled courtyard with several buildings and gates. The Memory Hall was just like the palaces in the Forbidden City - but in this case you could get inside - very spectacular wood work and architecture.
We returned to our apartment for a nap. David and Linda took us out for late dinner at a local restaurant. When we are inside the Holt / Lotus (adoption agency, travel agency) control, we stay in the safe, presented tourist areas. During this time we are in a regular area experiencing the real Chinese local culture, where being openly stared at is part of the job! This part of the trip was about getting over the jet lag, but I wish we had more time here - this is so much fun.
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